School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.
Northern fishers of Thailand caught this huge catfish in the Mekong River on May 1,2009.
It is nine feet long (2.7 meters) and as big as a grizzly bear, the behemoth tipped the scales at 646 pounds (293 kilograms).
The species known as the Mekong giant catfish, may be the largest freshwater fish ever recorded.
Chilli is a black and white Fresian bull. It is weighted 1.25 tons and is standing at 6 feet and 6 inches in height. Chilli grew up to become the biggest bovine in the world, according to Guinness World Record.
According to Naomi Clarke, manager of the Ferne animal Sanctuary in Ferne, Somerset, the bull doesn’t eat as much as the other cows and yet he outgrows them by far. He’s also abnormally friendly and gentle.
Now he’s 9 years old. He was lucky because yet he would not have ended up chopped into pieces and on the shelves of a meat market somewhere.