What’s another word for thesaurus? -- Steven Wright

Some are born great; some achieve greatness, & some hire PR officers. -- Daniel J. Boorstin

Build a man a fire, & he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, & he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. ----- Terry Pratchett

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. -- Dave Barry

And my parents finally realize that I’m kidnapped & they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room. -- Woody Allen

You can only be young once but you can be immature forever. -- Dave Berry

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today & we don’t know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeners

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. -- Les Dawson

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. -- Steven Wright

The pen is mightier than the sword, & considerably easier to write with. -- Marty Feldman

Memory is a strange bell
Jubilee & knell -- Emily Dickinson

See, now they vanish,
The faces & places, with the self which, as
It could loved them,
To become renewed, transfigured, in another pattern. -- T.S.Eliot


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