Funny Sms

# You r 70%sweet, 75% lover,85% smart,90% good,100% Lucky. So u r totally.............(71+75+85+90+100)=420

# When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

# My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.

# Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

# Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

# A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

# The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

# I've written a poem for you:Twinkle twinkle little star,you should know what you are,and once you know what you are,Mental hospital is not so far.

# What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

# When u smile the world smiles with u. When u r down people'll really behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u!

# This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?Animal Planet!

# If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.

# Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.

# Q: What's the difference between good & bad gals?
A: Good gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

# If I ever go for a brain transplant I would like 2 use your brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

# Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

# Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!

# Look at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

# Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

# Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

# Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.

# The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

# When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

# I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry. U laugh I laugh. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I laugh again

# When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!

# Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

# Do U know the full form of COLLEGE- C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

# Who said English is easy??? Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I don’t have brain... 2.-----I don’t have sense... 3.-----

# what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network, D monkey u r trying 2 call is on tree plz try later.

# First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

# Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then I thought where the fuck is my roof

# If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

# I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

# The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

# girls are like phones. We like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

# ><(((:> I send this fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat
fish wont DIE:-)

# At this moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text! pass on

# Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the Bathroom

# once a Sardar bought a banaspatee teen and say to the shopkeeper where is my gift ?shopkeeper said why? Sardar said there is written colestrol free

# Today is the international day of smart and attractive people send this to someone who fits the description; don’t. SEND IT BACK I'VE ALREADY RECIEVED HUNDREDS

# Some One.. Misses You.. Needs You Worries About You Lonely Without U Guess Who? The MONKEY IN ....THE ZOO....

# 2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies

# Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

# When a guy tells u that he luvs u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean that.......!!!!!!........ he has enough space 4 another girl on the top...

# I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch.

# He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

# The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.

# There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

# Girl announced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you!

# A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.Dr: What salary U Xpect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

# Which is the most confusing day in America?Thinking?Still thinking?Fathers day!

# Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

# There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

# If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

# 3 monkeys are esceped from the zoo.breaking news! 1st monkey in the home and 2nd is eat the food in k.f.c and 3rd is readding a messages!