Point System

You make the bed .............................................+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1

You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 .

in the snow.......................+8

..but return with beer...........-5

..and no liners.....................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5

You pummel it with a six iron.................................+10

It's her cat..................................................-40

AT A PARTY You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy........................................-2 .

named Tiffany.................................................-4 .

Tiffany is a dancer...........................................-6

..with breast implants..........................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner.................................... 0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1

Okay, it is a sports bar......................................-2 .

and it's all-you-can-eat night................................-3

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team...................-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.................................................+5

The pal is happily married....................................+4

Or frighteningly single.......................................-7

And he drives a Ferrari.......................................-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...................-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.......................................+2

You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4

You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6

You take her to a movie you like..............................-2 .

it's called Death Cop 3.......................................-3

..which features cyborgs that eat humans........................-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly...........................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it........................................................+10


You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and Hawaiian shirts..............................-30

You say, "It doesn't matter that you have a big belly too."..............-800

THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?"

You hesitate in responding...................................-10

You reply, "Where?"..........................................-35

Any other response...........................................-20

COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression................ 0

You listen, for over 30 minutes..............................+5

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...........................................................+100

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep..........-200