Look Before You Leap

One day, you are flying in a plane. There are 3 persons in plane. Suddenly the plane was malfunctioning. You have only one parachute. How would you process?


Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.


Optimist:
you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.


Procrastinator:
you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.


Bureaucrat:
you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.


Computer Scientist:
you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.


Mathematician:
you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.


Engineer:
you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.


Psychoanalyst:
you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.


Doctor:
you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.


Lawyer:
you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.


Judge:
after reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.


Economist:
your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other person.


Statistician:
you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.


IRS auditor:
you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.


Manager:
as you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts.


Consultant:
you tell them not to worry, since it won't take you long to learn how to fix a plane.


Salesperson:
you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.


Advertiser:
you strip-tease while singing that what they need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39.99.


Philosopher:
you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.


Teacher:
you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.


English major:
you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.


Comparative Literature major:
you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.


Dramatist:
you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.


Modern Painter:
you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.


Auto Mechanic:
as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.

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