Little Teddy’s doing very poorly in math, so his parents enroll him in Catholic school.
The first day home from St. Michael’s, he walks straight to his room to do his math homework.
After dinner Teddy marches back upstairs and starts calculating again.
His mother visits his room and says, “You’re working awfully hard!”
“Well,” Teddy replies, “today when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”
An emperor needs a samurai and asks a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish sword master to each demonstrate his skills.
The Japanese samurai releases a fly from a matchbox. Whoosh goes his sword, and the fly drops to the ground in two pieces.
The Chinese samurai opens his matchbox, and out pops a fly. Whoosh, whoosh goes his sword, and the fly drops to the ground in four pieces.
The Jewish samurai releases a fly. Whoosh, whoosh goes his sword, but the fly continues to buzz around.
The emperor, perplexed, says, “You didn’t kill the fly.”
The Jewish samurai replies, “Right. But he will never mate.”
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