Look Before You Leap

One day, you are flying in a plane. There are 3 persons in plane. Suddenly the plane was malfunctioning. You have only one parachute. How would you process?


Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.


Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.


Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.


Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.


Computer Scientist: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.


Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.


Engineer: you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.


Psychoanalyst: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.


Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.


Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.


Judge: after reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.


Economist: your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other person.


Statistician: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.


IRS auditor: you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.


Manager: as you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts.


Consultant: you tell them not to worry, since it won't take you long to learn how to fix a plane.


Salesperson: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.


Advertiser: you strip-tease while singing that what they need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39.99.


Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.


Teacher: you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.


English major: you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.


Comparative Literature major: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.


Dramatist: you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.


Modern Painter: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.


Auto Mechanic: as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.