Fun Archive

Showing posts with label comic. Show all posts

Wife Killed By Tree

A man accidently killed his wife by sawing down a tree in his garden.

The tree fell on her as he was sawing it down.

The man, who is 66 years old, was cutting down the tree as it had become unstable because of a storm and he thought it was better to cut it down as it would protect people that passed by it.

His wife, also 66, was standing in the street to tell the passing cars when the tree would crash.

However it crashed down on her head and she died later that day.

Nutrition System

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

African drinks very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Italian drink large amount of red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Funny Picture Around The World

Tetris Ease Post-Traumatic Stress

Playing Tetris, rated one of the greatest video games of all time, immediately after traumatic events appears to reduce flashbacks that plague sufferers of post-traumatic stress disorder, according to a British study.

The preliminary findings could lead to new treatments to prevent flashbacks that are a hallmark of the condition, also known as PTSD, Oxford University researchers said.

"This is only a first step in showing that this might be a viable approach to preventing post traumatic stress disorder," said Emily Holmes, a psychologist who led the study.

"This was a pure science experiment about how the mind works from which we can try to understand the bigger picture," Holmes said in a statement.

PTSD can often stem from wartime trauma such as being wounded or seeing others hurt or killed.

Symptoms range from irritability and outbursts of anger to sleep difficulties, trouble concentrating, extreme vigilance and an exaggerated startle response. People also can persistently relive the traumatic event.

The Oxford team showed a film to 40 healthy volunteers that included traumatic images of injury from several sources, including advertisements on the dangers of drunk driving.

After waiting 30 minutes, half the people played Tetris for 10 minutes while the others did nothing. Those who played the game had far fewer flashbacks to the film over the next week.

The game involves manipulating shapes composed of square blocks that fall down the screen to create a horizontal line of blocks without gaps. When a line is created it disappears.

The researchers believe that recognizing the shapes and moving the colored building blocks around in the computer game competes with the visions of trauma retained in the sensory part of the brain.

This process may somehow interfere with the way sensory memories are formed in the period following trauma and reduce the number of flashbacks experienced later on, they said this week in the Public Library of Science Journal PLoS ONE.

"We know there is a period of up to six hours in which it is possible to affect certain types of memories that are laid down in the human mind," Catherine Deeprose, who worked on the study, added in a statement.

"We have shown that in healthy volunteers, playing Tetris in this time window can reduce flashback-type memories without wiping out the ability to make sense of the event."

Hair Salon Moves From Ossma to Obama

Thanks to a well-placed letter B, things are looking up for the Chicago hair salon formerly known as Ossama's. Owner Mike Elsheikh says he's already seen business improve in the two weeks since he unveiled the name change from Ossama's Hair Design to Obama's Hair Design.

Elsheikh was a stylist at the salon when business plummeted 50 percent after the 2001 terror attacks carried out by Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida. Elsheikh says Ossama was the first name of a previous owner of the salon.

Elsheikh eventually took over the salon space and licensed the new name during the presidential campaign just in case President-elect Barack Obama won.

He says old customers have stopped by to give their approval of the new name.
He hasn't heard from Obama, but he doesn't expect him to object

140 Year Old Lobster Regain Freedom

A lobster thought to be about 140 years old will be returned to the ocean after briefly becoming the mascot for a New York City restaurant, an animal rights group said on Friday.

The 20-pound (9-kg) lobster was caught off the coast of Canada about two weeks ago and bought for $100 by City Crab and Seafood to become its mascot, said manager Keith Valenti.

"We bought a big lobster, started taking pictures with kids and it worked out real well," said Valenti, adding it was a "no brainer" to return the old crustacean to the ocean.

He said a lobster's age can be worked out from how much it weighs, with each pound counting for 7 to 10 years.

Valenti said it was not uncommon for lobsters to live for more than 100 years but it was rare for them to be caught because they were generally too big for the baskets.

The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said it found out that the old lobster was in the restaurant's tank when a diner called them. "We applaud the folks at City Crab and Seafood for their compassionate decision to allow this noble old-timer to live out his days in freedom and peace," said PETA's Ingrid Newkirk.

Man Dresses Girlfriend inSteling Money

A Chilean man tried to steal $80,000 from his randmother by disguising his 21-year-old girlfriend as the woman and having her withdraw money from the bank.

The man falsified his 82-year-old grandmother's identity card and his girlfriend wore a latex mask.

They might have gotten away with it if it weren't for a bank worker who called the grandmother's home and learned she was visiting relatives in Venezuela.

"She acted like an elderly woman, was dressed as elderly woman and moved like one. It was a good impersonation," Victor Mellado, head of client service at the Banco de Chile in the port city of Talcahuano in southern Chile told local television.

YEAR 2009

The predictions are divided into segments

Jordan

-An earthquake will be felt by the residents of Jordan and Iraq

- The uncovering of terrorist cells that sneaked in through the border intending to perform attacks in the midst of the kingdom.

- The diplomatic branch in Jordan goes through critical (accurate) moments

- Jordan’s queen appears in a new light, and the clouds will clear in the skies of the Jordanian royal family after a dark foggy phase

- Major real estate projects extend and rise on Jordanian soil

Palestine

- Gaza will not be the city of massacres and blockades but the city of dialogue and compromises.

- An announcement of giving Palestinians an important part of their rights, and a wave of happiness overcomes Palestine and its neighbors

- A semi-coup like movement in the Palestinian interior

- Mahmoud Abbas (Palestinian Authority President) is subjected to personal insults and will be seen in a compromising (or critical) situation

- The memories of 1967 reawaken along with various options (suggestions)

- Khaled Mashaal (Hamas leader) in difficult and dangerous missions which become part of his legacy (leave a mark on his name)

Israel

- The people of Israel will be in fear for a long period of time

- A disaster awaits the new Israeli prime minister

- A none-Israeli weapon within range of Israel

- Ariel Sharon’s name will be in the news again

- Great harm will befall several Jewish communities outside Israel

Egypt

- Scenes of disintegration and creation within the current Egyptian regime

- The Suez canal will be involved in the fateful (or crucial) urgent Egyptian decision

- Scenes involving the Military and civilians causing chaos and with devastation of governmental positions (or centers)

- Operations of revenge against personalities on Egyptian soil

Syria

- The current Syrian regime uncovers a dangerous coup attempt against it, and only reveals a small part of what happened to the media

- The creation and reopening of Arab/foreign diplomatic and cultural centers in Syria

- Syria surprises everyone by arresting (terrorist) tactical leaders both dead and alive, among them one who is very well known and sought after for arrest

- A great increase will be seen in collaborative efforts and projects between Syria and Lebanon including corporations and restaurants; Most of which are new, but some old that have been brought back to life.

- International terrorism strikes in vengeance on Syrian soil

- Despite the hostility and distance we see bridges being extended between Syria and Saudi Arabia- Farouq Al-Sahre’ (Syrian Vice President) will be a key personality, and public opinion will gravitate towards him

- Dynamic and intentional incidents intended to create sedition (conflict) and destabilize Syria

- A “workshop” to reposition (and replace) high level positions within the Syrian regime

- Syrian atmosphere will not be free of war

- Strange movements opposite (near) the Syrian coast

- Someone will be pardoned, and it will begin a series of positive decisions

- Dureid Laham (Syrian actor) will be in the limelight

USA

- President Bush will not enjoy his retirement

- A gigantic fire will erupt in a large commercial center (or mall)

- With all deliberation and on key issues Obama displays political inexperience (immaturity).

- Along with the presidency, Obama takes the danger (threat) as well, and while he makes plans for people in America and abroad, there is a group in America and abroad making plans for him and his work team (cabinet or administration)

- The announcement of the fate of a terrorist personality of the first order (i.e. a terrorist leader)

- We hear strange news about (Al-Qaida leader) Ayman Al-Zawahiri- American Artist (or Musician, or Actor, or Entertainer) dies in an unexpected manner

Russia

- Political Party developments reminiscent of the USSR era

- Russian positions (stances) that make it clear Russia is prepared to control (guide) global decisions

- Dangerous threats between Russia and a 2nd country which does not fall under Russia’s domain

France

- Popular protests all over the streets of France along with acts of vandalism and chaos

- Confusion among the French Judiciary (or legal system)

- An attempted terrorist act on French soil.

- An incident (or accident) will occur. A celebrity will be among its victims

- Problems, difficulties and obstacles await British prime minister Gordon Brown

- Depression will penetrate the London fog, and reach the faces of the British royal family.

- Neo-Nazism begins to surface (give primary signals)

Germany

Panic among the German people due to an incident that resembles a terrorist attack

Europe

A conflict erupts between 2 European countries which will pose questions at all levels!

Switzerland

An incident (or accident) disrupts the peaceful atmosphere of Switzerland

Tibet

The outlook is grim (uncomfortable) for the Dalai Lama

Space

Once again Space Scientists (Astronomers, astronauts) make new milestones which give people new hope of man’s ability to survive somewhere other than planet earth

Maritime

- A painful strike awaits the sea pirates

- We will witness a sea battle with the participation of Destroyers and other naval warfare ships

Afghanistan

The outlook for president Karzai is dim (dark)

Arabia

An operation which is close to suicidal occurs in Arabia and generates great debate, argument and questions among Arabs.

Libya

A mystery surrounds “the tent” of Muammar al-Qaddafi

Saudi Arabia

- Beginning of discovery of religious artifacts and historical/touristic sites which make KSA a tourist hotspot

- Discovery of new resources under ground equally as important as oil

- Failure of plans to create a crisis in the governing (ruling) of KSA

- The Saudi intelligence establishment foils several terrorist operations within the kingdom, but some other operations succeed in accomplishing their goals (of vandalism)

- The dialogue between religions (faiths) will be the project of projects in the coming stage despite all the security challenges and the opposing views, it will form a new line in the future of mankind

- The kingdom will be notified by an unknown party of the details of a “changing” operation

- A well known international spiritual personality makes a historical visit to KSA

- The beginning of a change in the kingdom’s weather and a great change in climate

- The outlook is very ominous around a Saudi airplane

- The modernization and creation of new laws which comfort the younger generations and form a great openness by the ruling (Royal family) towards the Saudi people

- The illusion of sadness invades the hearts of the Saudi people

Iraq

- A glaring attack on a foreign work team (or delegation) on Iraqi soil

- I’m hearing voices from Iraqi Christians crying out for help

- An Iraqi security crisis (or great change) in the aviation industry

- Despite the fortifications, an attack will penetrate and target a well known personality

Iran

- Despite the sanctions (blockades/embargoes) on Iran, we will see it receiving visitors from some of the countries that imposed these sanctions

- A naval operation in Iranian waters

- The arrest of an espionage ring within Iran

- Attempts to destabilize Iranian internal security and create rifts and splits among Iranians.

- Mysterious operations in sensitive Iranian locations

- The Iranian grip will be broken through a personal assassination attempt

- Iran will direct a very harsh accusation towards an Arab country

UAE

- Despite what we’re hearing I see UAE as a country that will find doors to exit the current economic crisis even if it will do so slowly

- A member of the ruling family will be in a critical state

- I see smoke and fire caused by a major incident (or accident)

- Rumors intended to break up the unity of the emirates themselves, and a wager on the lack of this unity

Kuwait

- Political intrigue on different levels in Kuwait along with retreats and chaos within the government

- Kuwait will remain coherent (solid) and governed (gripped) despite several destabilization attempts

- Kuwaiti Art (music/acting/entertainment) industry will go through a sad period

Qatar

- Cracks in the armor of Qatari stability

- changing of high level positions within the Qatari regime

- Qatari airlines will encounter major Problems

- Qatar will perform a new highly dangerous mediation in the region

- A certain Qatari hospital will be in the news

Turkey

- Turkey will encounter a dangerous earth quake

- Turks will go through several natural disasters this year

- The beginning of finding solutions to the historical hostility between Turks and Armenians

- There is no stability on the Turkish interior

- Turkish arms will extend in multiple directions

Pakistan

- Acts of Vandalism and terrorism attempt to change the image of the Pakistani regime

- Fire will penetrate the Indian/Pakistani ceasefire

- The appearance of Pervez Musharaf’s (former prime minister) name prominently

Lebanon

- Cash flow is available

- Encouragement of investment. Whatever isn’t exported will be sold locally

- The Lebanese Lira will overcome many crises

- Bank of Lebanon and its director will be a reference to the biggest banks and the most successful business men in the world who will learn from it sound economic policy, and this will be covered in the local and international media.

- The bank of Lebanon will survive several crises, and receive honorary prizes which will make Lebanon proud

- Chaos and rumors in banking circles hits banks and bank owners, their source will later be revealed to be an enemy of Lebanon. I mean Israel.

- We will read the phrase (Made in Lebanon) on many products prepared for consumption locally or for export

- Great progress in the industrial sector as a result of the incentives/regulations intended to enhance it.

- We will read the names of some of the larges real estate companies on buildings and giant malls

- A noticeable growth in the agriculture industry even in medical organ transplants!

- The agriculture industry will have an upheaval of the traditional Lebanese crops.

- We will see a noticeable return of specialized energetic youth

- The Lebanese Agricultural engineers will have great achievements in Lebanon

- So the Lebanese farmer will be able to start facing the crises of the banking sector slowly, along with hige difficult challenges along with a program of public protests.

- The Port of Beirut will be the port of all ports in the region. It will observe a unique tourist and commercial traffic which will extend to its environs.

- The launching of a campaign to prepare Lebanese beaches to receive tourists

- The initiation of real estate projects of trigonometric shape some of which will carry Lebanese and Arabian symbols

- A strengthening of the world of Lebanese tourist and commercial aviation. Airports, planes, pilots, and modern buildings, equipment, and training facilities in the region, a noticeable increase in the number of planes carrying the Lebanese cedar insignia.

- Middle East airlines will improve greatly and be among the prominent international airlines

- Lebanon will hold international conferences, and summits. It will be the country of prizes and honors, and it will be free, and independent despite all the dangerous projects being prepared for the region.

- Parts of Lebanon’s occupied lands are returned to it

- The international tribunal will be held. The identity of the murderer (of Rafiq Al-Hariri) will be revealed, and the identity will be triangular and 3 dimensional. We will see in picture and listen in sound to important details about the bombing (assassination), and be surprised by public confessions from one of the guilty parties involved in the assassination, and witnesses from different nationalities.

- The parliamentary elections will happen. Many of the large wagers and challenges will fail. An event will ruin things for one of the candidates. Previous ministers, current MPs will be involved in the election process

- Noticeable developments in the investigation of the assassination of Major General Francois al-haj and MP/minister Pierre Al-Jmayel

- The prestige (dignity) of the Lebanese Army will fill all of Lebanon, and it’s influence (balance) will increase although it will face 2 crises, but they will change nothing in its determination and that of its leader

- Syria is not coming back to Lebanon. Its influence will be strong, and it will allow it to interfere in several Lebanese affairs. Even so I see Syria in several national-security resembling missions which will be swift and limited and on Lebanese soil some open and others mysterious (secret)

- The Israeli air force will not be safe in Lebanese air-space, and I don’t mean by this prediction the danger of the planes Russia gave to Lebanon

- The recommendations of the Arab Summit held in Beirut around the year 2000 did not die, and some of them will see the light against

- Lebanese leading personalities will be placed in what amounts to forced internment (house imprisonment)

- Lebanese political parties and currents will open centers in surprising areas (or where it will cause surprise)

- A disruption (jamming) of an unknown source in Sayda is identified with the name of the municipality and the mayor

- The birth of new political movements with female leadership

- A painful and scary letter is sent to Saed Al-Hariri which reminds of the era of pressure put on the assassinated (martyred) president Rafiq Al-Hariri

- A high level legal personality (inaudible) all personal and even family

- A semi-intifada (uprising) of the media is witnessed between the syndicate of press and syndicate of editors.

- The uncovering of powerful operational strings with two intentions: Penetrating the leadership of Hizbullah and a reset of the equation and the balance of power. These strings will be uncovered.

- A section of the Doha decisions fails in Beirut- The horizons of the assassination of Imad Mughniyeh are expanding

- The name of the minister (of interior) Ziyad Barood is the bold headline of several plans and road maps.

- The name of MP and minister (of public works and transport) Mohammad Al-Safadi is identified with several varying events and positions which catch the public eye among them:A. his positions will participate to a great extent in breaking the ice between 2 opposing political groups, and this will benefit the greater good of LebanonB. He will surprise public opinion with an unexpected political electoral position that could not have occurred to anyone

- The world of civil aviation and Beirut Airport will witness a tragic scene (incident)

- Prominent and important changes in rulings and decisions which was until yesterday impossible, and it becomes apparent that these rulings were not needed to begin with

- A badly wanted and dangerous political presence makes Lebanon his headquarters

- The echos of the Biqfaya region are heard from a distance

- Walid Jumblat (Progressive social party leader and prominent druze) in several bright (promising) settings, and the leaking of a plan against him and two of his work team, and against a region of the Druze mountain

- The name of the first lady Wafa Michel Sleyman will captivate the hearts of the Lebanese people

- A scene of a coup in one of Lebanon’s regions- The water dispute between Lebanon and Israel takes the forefront again

- Lebanese Armenians overcome a tragic problem plotted for them- The Syrian diplomacy in Lebanon will be subject to a setback

Solution for Mud Fearing Pig?

A piglet in Northern England who developed a phobia of mud has overcome its fear with the aid of some Wellington boots.

Cinders, a young saddleback pig, appeared to have a condition called mysophobia - a fear of dirt - having refused to wallow in the mud with her siblings.

Her owners had the idea of fitting her with the bespoke miniature footwear to help conquer her fear.Debbie and Andrew Keeble run a sausage company in Thirsk, North Yorkshire.

However, they have said that Cinders will be spared the butcher's knife and instead act as a mascot to the Farm Crisis Network which supports struggling farmers.

92 Year Old Groom Still Looking For Bride

Egyptian authorities have banned a 92-year-old Saudi man from marrying a poor teenage girl 75 years his junior, a judicial source said on Saturday.

The justice ministry made its ruling under a law designed to prevent wealthy Arabs from the Gulf from snapping up young Egyptian girls and which forbids marriage when there is an age gap of 25 years or more.

The unidentified Saudi holidaymaker proposed marriage to a 17-year-old village girl and offered a dowry of about 28,000 dollars as well as jewelry, the source said."Her parents, who are very poor, accepted," he told Agence France Presse.

But the justice ministry refused to register the marriage, citing the legislation brought in during the Gulf oil boom.

However, according to Egypt's Al-Akhbar newspaper, the authorities allowed 173 such marriages last year after the foreign husbands paid the equivalent of 8,000 dollars to the Egyptian National Bank.

115 Year Old Brain Is Still Energetic

A Dutch woman who was the oldest person in the world when she died at age 115 in 2005 appeared sharp right up to the end, joking that pickled herring was the secret to her longevity. Scientists say that Henrikje van Andel-Schipper's mind was probably as good as it seemed: a post-mortem analysis of her brain revealed few signs of Alzheimer's or other diseases commonly associated with a decline in mental ability in old age.

That came as something of a surprise, said Gert Holstege, a professor at Groningen University, whose findings will be published in the August edition of Neurobiology of Aging. "Everybody was thinking that when you have a brain over 100 years, you have a lot of problems," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press on Friday. He cited a common hardening of arteries and the build up of proteins associated with Alzheimer's disease as examples. "This is the first (extremely old) brain that did not have these problems."

Van Andel was the oldest living person in the world at the time of her death in 2005 in the Dutch city of Hoogeveen, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. In 1972, the then 82-year-old Van Andel called the University of Groningen in order to donate her body to science. She called again at age 111 because she worried she might no longer be of interest. At that time Holstege began to interview her, testing her cognitive abilities at ages 112 and 113.

Though she had problems with her eyesight, she was alert and performing better than the average 60- to 75-year-old. Dr. Murali Doraiswamy of the Center for Aging at Duke University, not associated with the study, said it is unusual and valuable. In the first place there are few "super-centenarians" - people 110 and older - alive at any one time, a slim proportion of the world's population and a scant number even compared to those who reach 100 years. As a result, he said, there are few chances to study brains as old as hers. "It's very rare to be able to do not only a post-mortem, but also be able to have tested her two, three years before she died," said Doraiswamy.

"For a scientist, getting the opportunity to study someone like that is like winning the lottery." Doraiswamy, an Alzheimer's expert, said that the proportion of brains with some buildup of proteins associated with the disease increases with age. As a result, experts theorize anybody who lives long enough will get them eventually. When Van Andel died, the director of the elderly home where she was living declined to give a cause of death, pointing to her extremely advanced years. Holstege said she died of cancer. "

She died from stomach cancer, and you and I can also die from stomach cancer," he said, adding that her case demonstrates that very old people die of diseases, not simply old age. "It is very important to treat the elderly as normal people, as if they are 50 or 60." He noted that Van Andel was operated on at age 100 for breast cancer and survived 15 more years. When she was born in 1890, she weighed only 3.5 pounds, and her mother expected her to die in infancy. Van Andel's husband died in 1959. She had no children.

Longevity was in her genes, as all her siblings lived past 70, and her mother died at the age of 100. Asked what advice she would give to people who want to live a long time, she once quipped: "Keep breathing."

Single Horned Deer Excites Fans

A deer with a single horn in the center of its head - much like the fabled, mythical unicorn - has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday. "This is fantasy becoming reality," Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press.

"The unicorn has always been a mythological animal." The 1-year-old Roe Deer - nicknamed "Unicorn" - was born in captivity in the research center's park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said. He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns. Calling it the first time he has seen such a case, Tozzi said such anomalies among deer may have inspired the myth of the unicorn.

The unicorn, a horse-like creature with magical healing powers, has appeared in legends and stories throughout history, from ancient and medieval texts to the adventures of Harry Potter.

"This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly," he said by telephone. "It's not like they dreamed it up." Single-horned deer are rare but not unheard of - but even more unusual is the central positioning of the horn, experts said. "Generally, the horn is on one side (of the head) rather than being at the center. This looks like a complex case," said Fulvio Fraticelli, scientific director of Rome's zoo.

He said the position of the horn could also be the result of a trauma early in the animal's life. Other mammals are believed to contribute to the myth of the unicorn, including the narwhal, a whale with a long, spiraling tusk.

60 Years Old Proves Her Virginity

A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60.

Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown.

She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night."

She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours.

She added: "There has been some nasty gossip about me. The men my neighbours are talking about are relatives who are helping me do some work on my house.

"To make such accusations about a woman of my age is disgusting. I hope now they will all shut up. To claim I am a loose woman of any kind is outrageous."

317 Kilogram Man Hopes to Marry

Manuel Uribe, who once weighed half a ton but has slimmed down to about 317 kilograms, celebrates his 43rd birthday on Wednesday with a simple wish for the coming year: to be able to stand on his own two feet to get married.

Interviewed at his home in northern Mexico, where he can still do little more than sit up on a bed, Uribe said more than two years of steady dieting have helped him drop about 250 kilograms from his Guinness record weight of 560 kilograms.He hopes Guinness representatives will confirm in July that he holds a second title: The world's greatest loser of weight.But Uribe is still unable to walk his fiancee, Claudia Solis, down the aisle."It frustrates me a little, because it is not easy to get out," said Uribe, who has not been able to leave bed for the last six years.His most recent attempt to escape the house — to attend Solis' 38th birthday party in March — fell through when a flatbed tow truck brought to transport his reinforced bed got caught beneath an underpass.

But Uribe vowed not to be deterred: "We are in love, and this year my birthday wish is to be able to stand when we get married," he said.Uribe said he met Solis, a 38-year-old hairdresser, four years ago. They have been together for the last two years."We are a couple," Uribe said. "We have sex, and in the eyes of God we are already married."Proudly showing off her sparkling engagement ring, Solis said life with a heavyweight is not always easy."I bathe him every day, and we get along very well," she said.

"At times, yes, people say things ... that it's a fake relationship, but what we have is real."Solis said her family initially opposed the match with Uribe, because her first husband, who was also obese, died of respiratory failure."They were worried about me being involved with another fat man, because they thought another husband would die on me," she said.Uribe, a former auto parts dealer, said his birthday party Wednesday will be a low-key dinner with the family."We were going to go out, but the last time out scared me so much," he said. "When we crashed into the lighting conduits on the underpass, I thought we were going to get an electric shock."

Uribe said his weight problem spiraled out of control after he moved to the United States for a few years in 1988 and indulged in a nonstop diet of junk food and soft drinks.A botched liposuction that damaged his lymph nodes left him with giant tumors on both legs weighing a total of 100 kilograms. The tumors are the main reason he is unable to walk."It is all because of the junk food," he said.

About two years ago, a team of doctors stepped in to help Uribe change his eating habits and tackle his extreme obesity. Today he says he eats small portions of food five times a day, including chicken, ham, egg-white omelets, fruit and vegetables. Sitting in bed, Uribe exercises his arms with pull-ups and by pedaling with his hands.

Hoping his struggle will inspire others, he plans to launch the Manuel Uribe Foundation this year to educate people about nutrition and to combat obesity — a growing problem in Mexico. Solis is focused more on the present. "It is a miracle he is still alive," she said. "He's going to turn 43, and that is something we have to celebrate."

95 Pounder Berger

It is known as the home of 'the whopper' and Burger King is hoping its latest product really lives up to its reputation.

The fast-food giant has launched a £95 burger - all in the name of charity.

Setting a new record, the world's most expensive burger is available at its restaurant in Gloucester Road, West London.

It will eventually be available to order via a hotline.

The fine ingredients of what is called simply 'The Burger' include wagyu beef, white truffle, pata negra ham slices, cristal onion straws, modena balsamic vinegar, lambs lettuce, pink himalayan rock salt, organic white wine and shallot infused mayonnaise in an Iranian saffron and white truffle dusted bun.

Bra Saved 24 Year Old Woman

A 24-year-old American hiker given up for dead by mountain rescuers was saved when she threw her bra into a cable car.

Jessica Brown had fallen off a ledge in the Austrian Alps and was stranded injured for 70 hours in freezing temperatures.

Mountain rescue teams had been looking for her in the wrong place and gave up the search because they believed she'd fallen to her death.

But Jessica spotted a cable car on its way up the mountain in Salzburg and quickly flung her bra into a container carrying food as it passed her.

Workers higher up the peak realised the undies must have been thrown in as a message and sent out a search party.

"It certainly beats sending up a flare," said one rescue worker. "She hadn't been wearing much when she started on her walk and she ended up with even less on," they added.

The woman is now recovering in hospital.

Pope Does Not Wear Prada

The devil may wear Prada — but the pope does not. According to the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, the bright red loafers that Pope Benedict XVI wears are not designed by the Milanese fashion house, as has long been rumored."Obviously the attribution was false," the Vatican newspaper said in its Thursday's edition."

Such rumors are inconsistent with the simple and somber man who, on the day of his election to the papacy, showed to the faithful gathered in St. Peter's Square and to the whole world the sleeves of a modest black sweater," it said.Still, Benedict's fashion sense has often drawn media attention.

Three years ago around Christmas, he showed up for his weekly public audience in St. Peter's Square wearing a fur-trimmed stocking cap that could have passed for a Santa Claus hat. The hat, as it turned out, is a "camauro," which dates back to the Middle Ages and figures in many papal portraits.

On a separate occasion, Benedict sported a sumptuous red velvet cape trimmed in ermine — another piece of traditional papal attire that had long been abandoned.

L'Osservatore Romano said the pope's interest in clothes has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with liturgy — what symbolism traditional garments can bring to the Christian liturgy."The pope, therefore, does not wear Prada, but Christ," L'Osservatore said.

No ToplessTanning

Women who sunbathe topless are being warned to cover up and avoid overexposure as Dubai imposes stricter rules on the Western practice after receiving a number of complaints, press reports revealed. Signs will be posted on the beach to warn women—usually tourists who are unaware of the country's traditions—against going topless, an official at Dubai's trendy Jumeirah Beach Park was quoted as saying in the UAE's XPRESS.

Many of Dubai's female residents filed complaints about the offensive practice, which they say mainly happens on 'women's day' and insist topless women attract peeping toms.

Balajani Brown, a 56-year-old Croatian, said that she stopped her teenage daughter from going to the beach and added that people coming from various cultures should respect UAE traditions. Meena, a 15-year old Egyptian student, told XPRESS that lifeguards always argue with women to cover their bodies.

A beach lifeguard, Vivian, said that some women apologize as soon as she talks to them while others argue and insist that it's a public beach and that they are free to do what they want with their bodies."These incidents are reported to the supervisor," she told the paper.

Chatter Caught by Police

A desperate housewife called police in Germany after a friend chatted to her for 30 hours - non-stop.

Ingrid Schuettler, 48, told police she'd invited her friend round for a cup of tea and a chat.
But once they started talking, her pal "would not shut up" and kept it up all through the night and the next day.

A spokesman for police in Speyer said: "After an incredible 30 hours of listening non-stop to her friend and several unsuccessful attempts to get her to leave, the woman saw no other solution than to call us."

Officers persuaded Schuettler's friend to leave.

Bat Found in Bra

A teenager was stunned to find that a baby bat had been curled up inside her bra for five hours - as she was wearing it.

Hotel receptionist Abbie Hawkins thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations, reports the Daily Telegraph.

But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.
As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which her manager later released outside.

She said: "Once I realised it was a bat I was shocked, but then I felt quite sorry for it really. It looked very snug in there and I thought how mean I was for disturbing it."

Miss Hawkins, who works at the Holiday Inn Norwich North, added: "When I was driving to work I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket."

It was not until her lunch break when she felt a strange movement inside her bra, which had been hanging on her washing line the previous night.

"I plucked up the courage to investigate and I pulled out a little baby bat. I just lost my breath when I saw it and I did not know what it was at first," she said.

Jaime Eastham, of the Bat Conservation Trust, said they had never heard of a bat being found in a bra before. But she said the animals roost anywhere that appears dark and safe.