Showing posts with label content. Show all posts
Showing posts with label content. Show all posts

Weird Jokes

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.


"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.


"The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.


When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."


"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed.


"What's the bad news?"


"The guy was your doctor..."





An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time.


Every day, he was up early and worked late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his paint brush.


As each day passed, he gained a better understanding of the female body and was able to really make his paintings shine.


After a month, the artist had become very weary from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy for the day.


Since his model had already shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass of wine and talk - since normally he preferred to do his painting in silence.


They talked for a few hours, getting to know each other better.


Then as they were sipping their claret, the artist heard a car arriving outside.


He jumped up and said, "Oh no! It's my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!"

Wife Killed By Tree

A man accidently killed his wife by sawing down a tree in his garden.

The tree fell on her as he was sawing it down.


The man, who is 66 years old, was cutting down the tree as it had become unstable because of a storm and he thought it was better to cut it down as it would protect people that passed by it.


His wife, also 66, was standing in the street to tell the passing cars when the tree would crash.


However it crashed down on her head and she died later that day.

Nutrition System


Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.


Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.


African drinks very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.


Italian drink large amount of red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.


Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.


CONCLUSION


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Tetris Ease Post-Traumatic Stress

Playing Tetris, rated one of the greatest video games of all time, immediately after traumatic events appears to reduce flashbacks that plague sufferers of post-traumatic stress disorder, according to a British study.


The preliminary findings could lead to new treatments to prevent flashbacks that are a hallmark of the condition, also known as PTSD, Oxford University researchers said.


"This is only a first step in showing that this might be a viable approach to preventing post traumatic stress disorder," said Emily Holmes, a psychologist who led the study.


"This was a pure science experiment about how the mind works from which we can try to understand the bigger picture," Holmes said in a statement.

PTSD can often stem from wartime trauma such as being wounded or seeing others hurt or killed.

Symptoms range from irritability and outbursts of anger to sleep difficulties, trouble concentrating, extreme vigilance and an exaggerated startle response. People also can persistently relive the traumatic event.

The Oxford team showed a film to 40 healthy volunteers that included traumatic images of injury from several sources, including advertisements on the dangers of drunk driving.

After waiting 30 minutes, half the people played Tetris for 10 minutes while the others did nothing. Those who played the game had far fewer flashbacks to the film over the next week.

The game involves manipulating shapes composed of square blocks that fall down the screen to create a horizontal line of blocks without gaps. When a line is created it disappears.

The researchers believe that recognizing the shapes and moving the colored building blocks around in the computer game competes with the visions of trauma retained in the sensory part of the brain.


This process may somehow interfere with the way sensory memories are formed in the period following trauma and reduce the number of flashbacks experienced later on, they said this week in the Public Library of Science Journal PLoS ONE.

"We know there is a period of up to six hours in which it is possible to affect certain types of memories that are laid down in the human mind," Catherine Deeprose, who worked on the study, added in a statement.

"We have shown that in healthy volunteers, playing Tetris in this time window can reduce flashback-type memories without wiping out the ability to make sense of the event."

Elvis Express

The hair. The hips. The skin-tight, rhinestone suits. Hundreds of Elvis Presley lookalikes gyrated their way onto the `Elvis Express' on Friday to take part in one of Australia's biggest tributes to The King.

Some 370 devotees, many decked out with quiff hairstyles, aviator sunglasses, guitars and those infamous suits, will take part in the week-long Countrylink Elvis Festival in Parkes, a town in the Australian outback. It coincides with what would have been Presley's 74th birthday on January 8.
"There were plenty of characters at Central (train station) this morning, a good mix of people, young, old and families as well," Countrylink spokesman Metodi Jovanovski told Reuters.
During the six-hour train trip over mountains and through farming country, fans of Elvis and his actress wife Priscilla Presley will entertain each other, as well as vie for prizes that include the "best dressed on board." The Elvis Festival, which is in its sixth year, is expected to attract about 8,000 people to the town of Parkes, 357 km (222 miles) from Sydney, and nearly doubling its population for the duration of the event.
The 2009 programme features events such as an Elvis gospel church service, a street parade and for romantics, there's the "Back to the Altar with Elvis - Renewal of Wedding Vows" and the "Miss Priscilla Dinner & Big Hair Competition."

Single Horned Deer Excites Fans

A deer with a single horn in the center of its head - much like the fabled, mythical unicorn - has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday. "This is fantasy becoming reality," Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press.

"The unicorn has always been a mythological animal." The 1-year-old Roe Deer - nicknamed "Unicorn" - was born in captivity in the research center's park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said. He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns. Calling it the first time he has seen such a case, Tozzi said such anomalies among deer may have inspired the myth of the unicorn.


The unicorn, a horse-like creature with magical healing powers, has appeared in legends and stories throughout history, from ancient and medieval texts to the adventures of Harry Potter.


"This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly," he said by telephone. "It's not like they dreamed it up." Single-horned deer are rare but not unheard of - but even more unusual is the central positioning of the horn, experts said. "Generally, the horn is on one side (of the head) rather than being at the center. This looks like a complex case," said Fulvio Fraticelli, scientific director of Rome's zoo.


He said the position of the horn could also be the result of a trauma early in the animal's life. Other mammals are believed to contribute to the myth of the unicorn, including the narwhal, a whale with a long, spiraling tusk.

60 Years Old Proves Her Virginity


A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60.


Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown.


She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night."


She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours.


She added: "There has been some nasty gossip about me. The men my neighbours are talking about are relatives who are helping me do some work on my house.


"To make such accusations about a woman of my age is disgusting. I hope now they will all shut up. To claim I am a loose woman of any kind is outrageous."

Rat Woman

Outside a shrine in the dusty Pakistani city of Gujrat, a "rat woman" with a tiny head sits on a filthy mattress and takes money from worshippers.

Nadia, 25, is one of hundreds of young microcephalics -- people born with small skulls and protruding noses and ears because of a genetic mutation -- who can be found on the streets of Gujrat, in central Punjab province.Officials say many of them have been sold off by their families to begging mafias, who exploit a tradition that the "rat children" are sacred offerings to Shah Daula, the shrine's 17th century Sufi saint."


These are God's children. We are proud to look after her," said Ijaz Hussain, the shrine's government-employed custodian.According to local legend, infertile women who pray at Shah Daula's shrine will be granted children, but at a terrible price.


The first child will be born microcephalic and must be given to the shrine, or else any further children will have the same deformity.Hussain said Nadia was just a young child when she was dumped at the shrine 20 years ago."Since that day we have taken care of her, she is like family to us. People come here for prayers and seek fulfillment of their desires but they are respectful towards her," added Hussain, 56.


Pakistan's government says it has tried to crack down on exploitation of the "chuhas" (Urdu for rats) and says it plans to set up a shelter in Gujrat to rehabilitate them.The shrine stopped officially accepting microcephalics in the 1960s when the government took over the site.But not only does it still keep Nadia at its gate, the town's beggar masters also keep the superstition alive."Get lost! I don't want to talk to you," shouted a bearded beggar master in Gujrat's main bus station, grabbing a microcephalic woman by the hand and leading her through the crowds when asked to comment on his actions.


Bus passengers gave the woman money, as many believe it is bad luck not to.The high incidence of microcephalics in Gujrat, an industrial city of around one million people, has long been a bone of contention.


The popular belief among many Pakistanis -- that cruel beggar gangs clamp the children's heads in infancy -- is strongly denied by government and advocacy groups, who say there is no evidence to support this.Recent medical studies say the most likely cause is that the normally rare recessive genes behind many microcephaly cases crop up with greater frequency because of the common custom of marrying cousins in Pakistan.


But finding the cause is easier than stamping out the exploitation of "rat children" in the name of religion, says Pir Nasiruddaula, a descendant of the saint who has written several books on the shrine."The myth of the chuhas has been exploited by beggar mafias and religious groups," said Nasiruddaula, a former science professor in his 70s."They roam the villages and if the real chuha is born they give them some money and they take them," he said."But what kind of saint would really curse issueless women with the 'blessing' of deformed children?"


Rakhshan Sohail, of the Punjab provincial government's Child Protection and Welfare Bureau, said his department planned to establish a center in Gujrat to stamp out exploitation of microcephalics.Sohail said his department had busted more than 30 gangs across the province involved in exploiting street children.

8 Year Old Helps Civil Defense Buy Helicopter

An eight-year old Lebanese boy, eager to help Lebanon's Civil Defense Department battle forest fires,sold fresh lemonade to passersby in Ajaltoun, raising the amount of $150.

An Nahar daily said Tuesday that Rayan Chamoun stood at Mar Zakhia square in

Ajaltoun, carrying a placard that read:"They need helicopters and trucks.
Help them protect our forests."He raised the amount of $150after calling for more than two hours on people to buy fresh lemonade from him to donate the money to the Civil Defense Department.


An Nahar said that the boy will make his donation in theform of check to the
Department's Director General Darwish Hobeika.Rayan had made a similar initiative
to help the Lebanese army in its battle against Fatah al Islam militants at the
Palestinian refugee camp of Nahr al-Bared last year.

The Monkey Man


Acchan the Monkey-man


Railway bosses in northern India have come up with an effective way to protect their passengers from mischievous monkeys - a monkey-man. Dressed as a monkey, Acchan Miyan - also known as Gudde - capers about at the Charbag railyway station in Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, to scare away the troublesome creatures.


The 42-year-old says he has been driven to the unusual profession by poverty, but is convinced that his efforts are helping passengers. He said: "There were many monkeys here. But all of them have run away. I can't see even a single monkey here. There were thousands of monkeys here.


"People warned me that I will be eaten away by the simians. But I scared them all away. If I stay here for one week at the station I will scare away all the monkeys." Acchan, who previously earned a living by dressing up as an entertainer, now commands a salary of 300 to 400 rupees a day - between £3.50 and £4. Passengers said they appreciated the job he was doing. One, Santosh Kumar, said: "There used to be many monkeys here, who would indulge in all kinds of mischief. "


At times they would tear seat covers of trains and on others they would snatch away bananas from passengers. Poor passengers will certainly be protected from monkey menace by Acchans's act."


A Muslim by religion, Acchan has even started worshiping Indian mythical monkey god Hanuman and says he has no reservations in offering prayers to a Hindu deity.

VIRGIN BIRTH in a Shark

A blacktip shark in the wild patrols the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean .Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.


A blacktip shark in the wild patrols the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean.


In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female blacktip shark in a Virginia aquarium contained no genetic material from a male.


The first documented case of asexual reproduction, or parthenogenesis, among sharks involved a pup born to a hammerhead at an Omaha, Nebraska, zoo.


"This first case was no fluke," Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement. "It is quite possible that this is something female sharks of many species can do on occasion."


The scientists cautioned that the rare asexual births should not be viewed as a possible solution to declining global shark populations. The aquarium sharks that reproduced without mates each carried only one pup, while some species can produce litters of a dozen or more.


"It is very unlikely that a small number of female survivors could build their numbers up very quickly by undergoing virgin birth," Chapman said.


The medical mystery began 16 months ago after the death of Tidbit, a blacktip shark that had lived for eight years at the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center in Virginia Beach. No male blacktip sharks were present during her eight years.


In May 2007, the 5-foot, 94-pound shark died after it was given a sedative before undergoing a yearly checkup. The 10-inch shark pup was found during a necropsy, surprising aquarium officials. They initially thought the embryonic pup was either the product of a virgin birth or a cross between the blacktip and a male of another shark species -- which has never been documented, Chapman said.


Tidbit's pup was nearly full term, and likely would have been quickly eaten by "really big sand tiger sharks" that were in the tank, Chapman said in a telephone interview from Florida.


That is what happened to the tiny hammerhead pup in the Omaha case.


"By the time they could realize what they were looking at, something munched the baby," he said of aquarium workers. The remains of the pup were used for the DNA testing.


Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild.


The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.


Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.


The scientists said their findings offer "intriguing questions" about how frequently automictic parthenogenesis occurs in the wild.


"It is possible that parthenogenesis could become more common in these sharks if population densities become so low that females have trouble finding mates," said Mahmood Shivji, one of

the scientists and director of the Guy Harvey Research Institute at Nova Southeastern University in Florida.


The DNA fingerprinting techniques used by the scientists are identical to those used in human paternity testing.


Chapman, who is with the Institute for Ocean Conservation Science at Stony Brook, was assisted in the study by Beth Firchau of the Virginia Aquarium.Chapman and Shivji were on the team that made the first discovery of virgin birth involving the Nebraska shark

Fat Mackerel Make Dolphin Chubby


Trainer Takeshi Kakimoto feeds mackerel to dolphins Tuesday at Kinosaki Marine World in Toyooka, Japan.


Dolphins at a Japanese marine park are going on a low-fat diet after developing pot bellies and failing to look sharp in their performances.


Kinosaki Marine World in western Japan said Tuesday that all its 19 dolphins have been on a low fat-diet since late August, when they began to demonstrating an inability to hit jumping targets and remain upright while treading water.


"We were puzzled by their poor performance, then we noticed they looked rounder," said park spokesman Haruo Imazu.


Keepers measured their weight and found all had gotten plumper, some up to 22 pounds heavier just during the summer.


All had the same menu -- about 31 pounds of mackerel mixed with some white fish -- but keepers found the mackerels had gotten fattier, adding too many calories for the dolphins.


Keepers immediately put them on a weight-loss program, feeding them more white fish and less fatty mackerels, while instituting a routine exercise regime, Imazu said.


Less fat and moderate exercise seem to be working, he said.

China Breaks Up Male Prostitute Ring


Four Chinese men have been jailed for up to 5- years for running a male prostitution service that sold sex to other men, state media said Wednesday.


Zheng Shuyi registered the website nannanboy.com -- the word "nan" being Chinese for "man" -- and advertised it as a spa, but he used it to recruit male prostitutes, the official Xinhua news agency said on its website (http://www.xinhuanet.com/).


He then hired two rooms and sold sex for up to 400 yuan ($60) a session, the report said.
The prostitutes, based in the eastern province of Zhejiang, "went when they were called and offered their services," it added.


Zheng's defense had tried to argue that the law against prostitution only applied to women selling sex. The court disagreed and said the law did not define the sex, Xinhua said.


While homosexuality is not illegal in China, prostitution is. One of the men, who had syphilis, was also found guilty of spreading a sexual disease.


Prostitution was stamped out in the years following the Communist revolution in 1949, but has returned with a vengeance following sweeping economic and social reforms over the last three decades.

Elvis Presley Became Top Earning Death Celebrity

Elvis Presley may have left the building several decades ago, but his earning power is far from diminished with Forbes.com ranking him the top-earning dead celebrity for the second year in a row.

Presley pulled in $52 million in the past year, helped by increased visitors to his Graceland estate to commemorate the 30th anniversary of his death and new ventures like the Elvis Sirius Satellite Radio show, according to the web site.

"While things might be topsy-turvy in the financial markets above ground, it's still a bull market in the boneyard," Forbes.com said.
Presley earned more between October 2007 and October 2008 than some of the music industry's biggest living pop stars like Justin Timberlake ($44 million) and Madonna ($40 million), Forbes.com said.

Coming in at No. 2 with $33 million in earnings was cartoonist Charles Schulz, who died in 2000 and is best known for his "Peanuts" comic strip, while Australian actor Heath Ledger nabbed third spot.

Ledger, 28, died from an accidental prescription drug overdose in January and his last film role was as the Joker in "The Dark Knight."

"With the 'The Dark Knight' grossing $991 million in box office revenue worldwide, we estimate his earnings at $20 million," the web site said.

Forbes.com said it spoke to experts and sources inside the dead celebrities' estates and researched gross earnings, before taxes, management fees and other costs, from the period of October 2007 to October 2008 to come up with the rankings.

German-born physicist Albert Einstein comes in at No. 4 with $18 million in earnings, mainly from Baby Einstein, the majority Disney owned videos and toys for children, while TV producer Aaron Spelling -- whose shows include "Beverly Hills 90210" and "Charlie's Angels" -- was ranked No. 5 with $15 million in earnings.
The full list can be found at http://www.forbes.com/.

Ancient Greeks Pre-empted Dead Parrot Sketch


"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."

For those who believe the ancient Greeks thought of everything first, proof has been found in a 4th century AD joke book featuring an ancestor of Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch where a man returns a parrot to a shop, complaining it is dead.

The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said Friday.

"By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"
In a British comedy act Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, first aired in 1969 and regularly voted one of the funniest ever, the pet-shop owner says the parrot, a "Norwegian Blue," is not dead, just "resting" or "pining for the fjords."

The English-language book will appeal to those who swear that the old jokes are the best ones. Many of its 265 gags will seem strikingly familiar, suggesting that sex, dimwits, nagging wives and flatulence have raised laughs for centuries.

FAR-FETCHED CLOAK

In many of the jokes, a slow-witted figure known as the "student dunce" is the butt of the jokes. In one, the student dunce goes to the city and a friend asks him to buy two 15-year-old slaves: No problem,' responds the dunce. If I don't find two 15-year-olds, I'll get one 30-year-old.'
In another, someone asks to borrow the student's cloak to go down to the country. "I have a cloak to go down to your ankle, but I don't have one that reaches to the country," he replies.

The manuscript is attributed to a pair of ancient comedians called Hierocles and Philagrius. Little is known about them except that they were most likely the compilers of the jokes, not the original writers.

The multi-media e-book, which can be purchased online ( www.yudu.com/oldestjokebook ), features veteran British comedian Jim Bowen, 71, reviving the lines before a 21-century audience.

"Jim Bowen brings them back from the dead. It's like Jurassic Park for jokes," Richard Stephenson, CEO of digital publisher YUDU, said in a statement.

For Bowen, much of the material seemed very familiar: "One or two of them are jokes I've seen in peoples' acts nowadays, slightly updated: they put in a motor car instead of a chariot."

Other one-liners in Philogelos may baffle a modern audience, such as a series of jokes about a lettuce, which only make sense in light of the ancient belief it was an aphrodisiac.

Special SAMOSAS cost $200


A Dutch couple on a visit to the eastern Indian state of Bihar paid 10,000 rupees ($204) for four samosas, a spicy deep-fried snack that usually doesn't cost more than a few rupees, a newspaper reported on Monday.




After the tourists ate the snacks, a stall owner at the Sonepur cattle fair last week told them his "special" samosas cost more because they were made of herbs and had aphrodisiac qualities, the Hindustan Times said.



After an argument, the couple paid the shopkeeper. But they later complained to a policeman.
Police forced the shopkeeper to return the change -- 9,990 rupees.

Fattest Pet Compete in Slimming Contest


Eight of Britain's fattest pets are to embark on a 100-day diet and fitness regime in a bid to crowned this year's pet fit club champion.

The seven dogs and one cat, who are all more than 30 percent overweight and weigh a combined total of 191 kg (30 stones), were picked by veterinary charity PDSA who are running the slimming contest.

The animals, who need to lose a total of 74 kg to reach their ideal weight, will be put on specially tailored diet and exercise programs.

The pet who achieves the biggest percentage weight loss and best follows their new regime will be crowned champion, winning their owner a pet-friendly holiday.

PDSA statistics show around 30 percent of Britain's dogs are overweight or obese, amounting to around 1.95 million fat dogs.

"Alongside their daily portions of pet food, owners often show their affection by giving unhealthy human treats such as cheese, buttered toast and biscuits. They don't realize they are actually killing their pets with kindness," said Sean Wensley, a veterinary surgeon at PDSA.

Man Without Money


An economics graduate is about to begin a year-long mission to live without money.

Mark Boyle, 29, plans to put his potatoes where his mouth is and become the ultimate 'freeconomist' by ditching cash for 12 months.

He intends to live completely off the land and waste products he scrounges around his borrowed caravan at Timsbury, near Bath.

And he'll even use his very own composting toilet for good measure.

"I've been preparing a lot over the last couple of months, but the challenge will be the things I can't plan for - a broken arm, exhaustion or the worst case scenario, a family bereavement," he said.

"I suspect the most difficult thing will be socialising in a world that revolves around money. I'll be living on a day-to-day basis, hand to mouth, which means I'll never really know where my next meal comes from."

Mark plans to scour skips and other people's rubbish to find what he needs. He'll also make use of a scheme called Freecycle, a network of recycling enthusiasts; and Freeconomy which allows people to swap skills.

A friend, he says, will pay his National Insurance for the 12 months.

"Any skills you need you can get through Freeconomy and with other 'pay-it-forward' based organisations such as Liftshare and Couch-surfing now flourishing, the simple life doesn't have to be so difficult anymore," he said.

And with the credit crunch biting Mark, from Bristol, believes there's never been a better time to seek out the good life.

"It is the disconnection we have with what we consume that is the primary cause of the wasteful culture we live in today," he explained.

"If we all had to grow our own food again we wouldn't waste one third of it. We've absolutely no respect or real appreciation for the energy that goes into the things we consume and buy today, so we think nothing of throwing them away."

Mark will be hoping this 'freebie' experiment goes a bit better than his last cashless odyssey.
In February he set off to visit Gandhi's birthplace on India's west coast, aiming to get there without spending a penny.

But he only managed to get to Calais - about 300 miles - before cold and the language barrier forced him to hang up his boots. He then had to use money to pay for his trip back to Britain.
At the time he told Sky News: "Not only did no one speak the language, they also see us as just a bunch of freeloading backpackers, which is the complete opposite of what the pilgrimage is really about.

"The advice was to make a bee line for Belgium as folk said they would be more likely to want to speak some English.

"The only trouble was the first decent-sized town in Belgium was 170km away, and all we had was three tins of soup, a bag of trail mix and a chocolate bar to sustain us."

Mr Boyle begins his money-less mission tomorrow (Sat) - on the rather aptly named Buy Nothing Day.




R U Scared of Obama

Indian IT, IT-service’s companies are not feared by Obama’s proposal to repeal tax breaks for companies that outsource certain operations to offshore centers.
The tax plan by Obama stats that US companies who doesn’t outsource their job work will get a better tax benefit and by this will create job opportunity to robust US economy and stabilize the market.

The tax plan proposed by Obama, who will be sworn in as president on Jan. 20, seeks to revoke this benefit. “Such provisions may have the perverse effect of making US companies uncompetitive in overseas markets rather than deterring offshoring,” the Macquarie analysts said.

“I don’t see Obama doing anything terribly drastic. I think he has enough on his plate; he has got a trillion-dollar bailout and probably got another trillion dollars coming on top of that which he has to finance,” Genpact Ltd’s Chief Executive Pramod Bhasin said at the Reuters India Investment Summit.

Indian IT-services companies like Infosys, Wipro and Tata Consultancy Services Ltd could get an edge over US companies such as Cognizant and IBM, they said. The India-domiciled companies will continue to pay lower taxes, while Cognizant and IBM will have to pay out more, the analysts said.

“Barack Obama will repeal tax breaks that reward corporations that retain their earnings overseas, and will use those savings to lower corporate tax rates for companies that expand or start operations in the United States,” according to Obama’s website, www.barackobama.com.

Obama’s tax plans are unlikely to affect the outsourcing industry because of the scarcity of IT talent in the United States, Suresh Senapaty, chief financial officer of Wipro Ltd, told the summit, held at Reuters Bangalore office.

Honeymoon Joke

John and Jane got married. They planned to honeymoon in Jane’s aunt’s place. They caught a bus that was filled with deer hunters.After about 30 minutes the bus broke down right next to a nice hotel.John said to Jane, “Jane, there’s a comfortable hotel right here.

How about consummating our marriage?”Jane replied, “No. I want to wait till we get to aunt’s place.”The repaired bus took off. Fifty miles down the road it broke down again. This time it was next to a good-looking motel.John turned to Jane and asked, “Look Jane. There’s a nice motel. Can we consummate our marriage?”

Jane said, “No. I want to wait till we get to aunt’s place.”The bus was repaired and off they went. Ten miles down the road the bus broke down. This time they were our in the woods. However, there was a little clearing out of the sight of the bus.Jane turned to John, “I think we should go back into the woods and do it.”

Later when they returned the bus, John asked Jane, “Earlier we were next to a nice hotel and you said ‘No’. Then, we were by a motel and you said ‘No’. But, here we went out into the grassy woods and did it. Why?”

Jane said, “I was listening to the hunters. They said if the bus broke down again, the fucking season would be over.”

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