FUNNY PICTURE

FUNNY PICTURE

7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD

7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD

sexual organ

FUNNY STORY

FUNNY STORY

AMAZING TALE…………..

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.

He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I will marry you.”

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, “Now you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl looked at her boyfriend & saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that.

The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears & days later wrote a note to her saying:

‘TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR EYES, MY DEAR, FOR BEFORE THEY WERE YOURS, THEY WERE MINE.’

FUNNY INFORMATION

FUNNY INFORMATION

DID YOU KNOW?.......

Screaming & Belting are both terms that some people use to describe a powerful dynamic voice.

This in turn creates confusion as to the methods used to acquire this skill & causes many singers to harm their voices by using destructive methods instead of healthy ones!

* Put in the Power; less is More! One of the most common mistakes is to exhale too much air when sounding a note. This places pressure on the vocal chords which as well as causing strain, prevents them from working at their optimum.

* Be in Control! Using the abdominal muscles & diaphragm correctly allows the singer to control the amount of airflow.

* Rehearse as many times as possible. But don’t overdo it!

MY SPECIAL FRIEND

Isn’t it funny
How some special people
Don’t realize they are special at all?
They’re thoughtful
Without even thinking about it.
They’re always right there
When you call
They share, not expecting
A thing in return
Yet always seem richer
For giving—
Isn’t it lovely how
Those special people
Can teach us
So much about living!
You’re one of those Special People
Thanks for being my friend



LOVE POEM

Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest,
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

poetry collection

poetry collection

VALENTINE POEM

mother teresa


Smile at each other, smile at your
Wife


Smile at your husband, smile at your
your children,


Smile at each other-it doesn’t
matter who it is –


And that will help you to grow
up in


Great love for each other



TEMPLE OF THE KING

rainbow

One day in the year of the fox
Came a time remembered well
When the strong young man of the rising sun
Heard the tolling of the great black bell


One day in the year of the fox
When the bell began to ring
Meant the time had cometh
For one to go to the temple of the king


There in the middle of the circle he stands
Searching, seeking
With just one touch of his trembling hand
The answer will be found


Daylight waits while the old man sighs
Heaven help me
And then like the rush of a thousand wings
It shines upon the one


And the day had just begun


One day in the year of the fox
Came a time remembered well
When the strong young man of the rising sun
Heard the tolling of the great black bell


One day in the year of the fox
When the bell began to sing
It meant the time had cometh
For one to go to the temple of the king


Then in the middle of the people
He stands Seeing, feeling
With just a wave of a strong right hand
He’s gone
To the temple of the king


Far from the circle at the edge of the world
He’s hoping, wondering
Thinking back from the stories he’s heard
Of what he’s going to see


There in the middle of the circle it lies
Heaven help me
Then all could see by the shine in his eyes
The answer had been found


Back with the people in the circle
He stands
Giving, feeling
With just one touch of a strong right hand
They know
Of the temple and the king

TAKE A BREAK

MATHEMATICS

Romance

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


Office Arithmetic

Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime


Shopping

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A man will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.


General Equations & Statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

INFORMATION

INFORMATION

DID YOU KNOW?...........


Some singers sing with tremendous power without sacrificing tone quality, while other singers become harsh & impure when they go for power?...

Well once again it comes down to the vocal exercises you practice. But let’s have a look at why the exercises you practice are so important.

What does it mean to sing a loud powerful note as opposed to a note of medium volume? Well, it’s basically an increase in intensity.

You send a little more air pressure to your vocal chords while still holding the same posture as you would when you are singing at medium intensity.

Your vocal chords hold this air back for longer, which produces a sound wave of higher intensity, which means a note at higher volume.

Now to train your voice to produce tremendous volume & power, you don’t need to strengthen your diaphragm.

Many singers make this mistake. They believe that they need to send large amounts of air to get good volume.

The vocal chords simple buckle under the pressure, vocal tension begins & things get ugly.

Instead you need to train & strengthen the tiny muscle that coordinate your vocal chords. When you do this, your chords will be able to hold down more air, for longer.

JOKES

JOKES

THE NET


YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN INTERNET JUNKIE WHEN……..

# When asked to write your address, your answer begins with http://

# Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

# You chat with your fingers , not your mouth.

# You use Netscape 4.72, & you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.

# You know the difference between java & javascript.

# Most of your friends have an @ in their names.

# In order to watch CNN you move to www.cnn.com.

# On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone no.

# You find yourself typing ‘com’ after every period when using a word processor.com

# You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

# You can perfectly imitate the sound patterd of your modem connecting to your ISP.

# You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than J.

# You are told about a new programme, & you are disappointed to find that it is a TV programme.

# Not only do you check youe e-mail more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.



TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOU’VE OVERDOSED ON THE WORLD WIDE

WEB

# Your opening line is : “So, what’s your homepage address?”

# You see a beautiful sunset, & you half-expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 4.0” on one of the clouds.

# You are overcome with disbelief, anger, & finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a webpage with no links.

# You left driven to consult the “Cool Page of the Day” on your wedding day.

# Your bookmark takes 15 mins. to scroll from top to bottom.

# You are driving on a dark & rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff & certain death, & you desperately look for the “Back” button.

# You visit “The really big button that doesn’t do anything” again & again & again.

# Your dog has his own webpage.

# So does your hamster.

# When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

YOU MIGHT BE an ISP if…….

# You know 56k means ‘reliable 33.6’ & 33.6 means ‘reliable 28.8’ & so forth.

# You know the win98 setup wizard by heart & can walk a user through it without even interrupting your Quake/ MUD /IRC session to do so.

# You know where the email settings are in internet Mail, Outlook Express, Pegasus, Eudora, Netscape Mail, Messenger Mailbox, & you don’t use any of those programs for personal use.

# You maintain more than four websites & do not have time for a personal web page.

# You know what TCP/ IP stands for, not to mention DNS, HTTP, SNMP, BGP, OSPF, & DUN. You like acronyms.

# You know more IP addresses than phone no. Sometimes you just find it easier to type the dotted quad.

# You know more phone no. to modem banks than you know phone no. to people.

# You can name two web browsers other than Netscape or Microsoft’s.

# You loathe the dancing baby & other large file attachments sent through email to unsuspecting users who can’t pick them up off the server & then have to call & whine that their email doesn’t work anymore.

# You despise Microsoft FrontPage as a web-editing tool & as extensions to your web server.

# You can answer the question ‘is the internet broken’ without laughing.