Showing posts with label correspondence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label correspondence. Show all posts

60 Years Old Proves Her Virginity


A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60.


Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown.


She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night."


She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours.


She added: "There has been some nasty gossip about me. The men my neighbours are talking about are relatives who are helping me do some work on my house.


"To make such accusations about a woman of my age is disgusting. I hope now they will all shut up. To claim I am a loose woman of any kind is outrageous."

VIRGIN BIRTH in a Shark

A blacktip shark in the wild patrols the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean .Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.


A blacktip shark in the wild patrols the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean.


In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female blacktip shark in a Virginia aquarium contained no genetic material from a male.


The first documented case of asexual reproduction, or parthenogenesis, among sharks involved a pup born to a hammerhead at an Omaha, Nebraska, zoo.


"This first case was no fluke," Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement. "It is quite possible that this is something female sharks of many species can do on occasion."


The scientists cautioned that the rare asexual births should not be viewed as a possible solution to declining global shark populations. The aquarium sharks that reproduced without mates each carried only one pup, while some species can produce litters of a dozen or more.


"It is very unlikely that a small number of female survivors could build their numbers up very quickly by undergoing virgin birth," Chapman said.


The medical mystery began 16 months ago after the death of Tidbit, a blacktip shark that had lived for eight years at the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center in Virginia Beach. No male blacktip sharks were present during her eight years.


In May 2007, the 5-foot, 94-pound shark died after it was given a sedative before undergoing a yearly checkup. The 10-inch shark pup was found during a necropsy, surprising aquarium officials. They initially thought the embryonic pup was either the product of a virgin birth or a cross between the blacktip and a male of another shark species -- which has never been documented, Chapman said.


Tidbit's pup was nearly full term, and likely would have been quickly eaten by "really big sand tiger sharks" that were in the tank, Chapman said in a telephone interview from Florida.


That is what happened to the tiny hammerhead pup in the Omaha case.


"By the time they could realize what they were looking at, something munched the baby," he said of aquarium workers. The remains of the pup were used for the DNA testing.


Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild.


The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.


Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.


The scientists said their findings offer "intriguing questions" about how frequently automictic parthenogenesis occurs in the wild.


"It is possible that parthenogenesis could become more common in these sharks if population densities become so low that females have trouble finding mates," said Mahmood Shivji, one of

the scientists and director of the Guy Harvey Research Institute at Nova Southeastern University in Florida.


The DNA fingerprinting techniques used by the scientists are identical to those used in human paternity testing.


Chapman, who is with the Institute for Ocean Conservation Science at Stony Brook, was assisted in the study by Beth Firchau of the Virginia Aquarium.Chapman and Shivji were on the team that made the first discovery of virgin birth involving the Nebraska shark

Fat Mackerel Make Dolphin Chubby


Trainer Takeshi Kakimoto feeds mackerel to dolphins Tuesday at Kinosaki Marine World in Toyooka, Japan.


Dolphins at a Japanese marine park are going on a low-fat diet after developing pot bellies and failing to look sharp in their performances.


Kinosaki Marine World in western Japan said Tuesday that all its 19 dolphins have been on a low fat-diet since late August, when they began to demonstrating an inability to hit jumping targets and remain upright while treading water.


"We were puzzled by their poor performance, then we noticed they looked rounder," said park spokesman Haruo Imazu.


Keepers measured their weight and found all had gotten plumper, some up to 22 pounds heavier just during the summer.


All had the same menu -- about 31 pounds of mackerel mixed with some white fish -- but keepers found the mackerels had gotten fattier, adding too many calories for the dolphins.


Keepers immediately put them on a weight-loss program, feeding them more white fish and less fatty mackerels, while instituting a routine exercise regime, Imazu said.


Less fat and moderate exercise seem to be working, he said.

Fattest Pet Compete in Slimming Contest


Eight of Britain's fattest pets are to embark on a 100-day diet and fitness regime in a bid to crowned this year's pet fit club champion.

The seven dogs and one cat, who are all more than 30 percent overweight and weigh a combined total of 191 kg (30 stones), were picked by veterinary charity PDSA who are running the slimming contest.

The animals, who need to lose a total of 74 kg to reach their ideal weight, will be put on specially tailored diet and exercise programs.

The pet who achieves the biggest percentage weight loss and best follows their new regime will be crowned champion, winning their owner a pet-friendly holiday.

PDSA statistics show around 30 percent of Britain's dogs are overweight or obese, amounting to around 1.95 million fat dogs.

"Alongside their daily portions of pet food, owners often show their affection by giving unhealthy human treats such as cheese, buttered toast and biscuits. They don't realize they are actually killing their pets with kindness," said Sean Wensley, a veterinary surgeon at PDSA.

R U Scared of Obama

Indian IT, IT-service’s companies are not feared by Obama’s proposal to repeal tax breaks for companies that outsource certain operations to offshore centers.
The tax plan by Obama stats that US companies who doesn’t outsource their job work will get a better tax benefit and by this will create job opportunity to robust US economy and stabilize the market.

The tax plan proposed by Obama, who will be sworn in as president on Jan. 20, seeks to revoke this benefit. “Such provisions may have the perverse effect of making US companies uncompetitive in overseas markets rather than deterring offshoring,” the Macquarie analysts said.

“I don’t see Obama doing anything terribly drastic. I think he has enough on his plate; he has got a trillion-dollar bailout and probably got another trillion dollars coming on top of that which he has to finance,” Genpact Ltd’s Chief Executive Pramod Bhasin said at the Reuters India Investment Summit.

Indian IT-services companies like Infosys, Wipro and Tata Consultancy Services Ltd could get an edge over US companies such as Cognizant and IBM, they said. The India-domiciled companies will continue to pay lower taxes, while Cognizant and IBM will have to pay out more, the analysts said.

“Barack Obama will repeal tax breaks that reward corporations that retain their earnings overseas, and will use those savings to lower corporate tax rates for companies that expand or start operations in the United States,” according to Obama’s website, www.barackobama.com.

Obama’s tax plans are unlikely to affect the outsourcing industry because of the scarcity of IT talent in the United States, Suresh Senapaty, chief financial officer of Wipro Ltd, told the summit, held at Reuters Bangalore office.

Honeymoon Joke

John and Jane got married. They planned to honeymoon in Jane’s aunt’s place. They caught a bus that was filled with deer hunters.After about 30 minutes the bus broke down right next to a nice hotel.John said to Jane, “Jane, there’s a comfortable hotel right here.

How about consummating our marriage?”Jane replied, “No. I want to wait till we get to aunt’s place.”The repaired bus took off. Fifty miles down the road it broke down again. This time it was next to a good-looking motel.John turned to Jane and asked, “Look Jane. There’s a nice motel. Can we consummate our marriage?”

Jane said, “No. I want to wait till we get to aunt’s place.”The bus was repaired and off they went. Ten miles down the road the bus broke down. This time they were our in the woods. However, there was a little clearing out of the sight of the bus.Jane turned to John, “I think we should go back into the woods and do it.”

Later when they returned the bus, John asked Jane, “Earlier we were next to a nice hotel and you said ‘No’. Then, we were by a motel and you said ‘No’. But, here we went out into the grassy woods and did it. Why?”

Jane said, “I was listening to the hunters. They said if the bus broke down again, the fucking season would be over.”

6 Ft. Snake Found in Toilet

A six feet snake has been found in the toilet bowl of a 10th floor flat in Australia.

It's believed the black-headed python had been living in the plumbing of the Darwin building for some time.

Snake expert Chris Peberdy rescued it after the tenants of the apartment got the shock of their lives, the Northern Territory News reports.

"When I saw it I was pretty shocked," Mr Peberdy said.

"It's one thing in the Territory to have a green frog in the toilet ... but not a six-foot python.''

"It would certainly scare you if it came up from the depths of the toilet.''

Mr Peberdy said there were no windows or other spaces the snake - which is "as thick as someone's wrist'' - could have gotten into the bathroom.

"There is no possible other way it could have got there than through the toilet,'' Mr Peberdy said.



Ugliest Dogs Competition

Gus the dog has three legs, one eye and no hair, except for a white tuft on the top of his head. He's a real winner.

The pedigree Chinese crested won the World's Ugliest Dog contest on Saturday at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Northern California.

His owner, Jeanenne Teed, brought Gus all the way from St. Petersburg, Fla., to compete for the dubious distinction

After the excitement of the moment, Teed characterized her dog's reaction: "Well, I think right now he's ready for a nap."

The Chinese crested breed is a popular choice in this annual contest. Last year's champ, Elwood, was a Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix.

Gus' owner won $500 and will be flown to New York to appear on "CBS This Morning." The event will be aired on the Animal Planet network in October.





Funny Sms

# You r 70%sweet, 75% lover,85% smart,90% good,100% Lucky. So u r totally.............(71+75+85+90+100)=420

# When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

# My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.

# Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

# Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

# A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

# The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

# I've written a poem for you:Twinkle twinkle little star,you should know what you are,and once you know what you are,Mental hospital is not so far.

# What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

# When u smile the world smiles with u. When u r down people'll really behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u!

# This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?Animal Planet!

# If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.

# Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.

# Q: What's the difference between good & bad gals?
A: Good gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

# If I ever go for a brain transplant I would like 2 use your brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

# Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

# Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!

# Look at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

# Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

# Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

# Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.

# The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

# When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

# I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry. U laugh I laugh. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I laugh again

# When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!

# Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

# Do U know the full form of COLLEGE- C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

# Who said English is easy??? Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I don’t have brain... 2.-----I don’t have sense... 3.-----

# what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network, D monkey u r trying 2 call is on tree plz try later.

# First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

# Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then I thought where the fuck is my roof

# If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

# I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

# The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

# girls are like phones. We like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

# ><(((:> I send this fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat
fish wont DIE:-)

# At this moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text! pass on

# Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the Bathroom

# once a Sardar bought a banaspatee teen and say to the shopkeeper where is my gift ?shopkeeper said why? Sardar said there is written colestrol free

# Today is the international day of smart and attractive people send this to someone who fits the description; don’t. SEND IT BACK I'VE ALREADY RECIEVED HUNDREDS

# Some One.. Misses You.. Needs You Worries About You Lonely Without U Guess Who? The MONKEY IN ....THE ZOO....

# 2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies

# Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

# When a guy tells u that he luvs u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean that.......!!!!!!........ he has enough space 4 another girl on the top...

# I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch.

# He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

# The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.

# There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

# Girl announced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you!

# A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.Dr: What salary U Xpect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

# Which is the most confusing day in America?Thinking?Still thinking?Fathers day!

# Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

# There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

# If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

# 3 monkeys are esceped from the zoo.breaking news! 1st monkey in the home and 2nd is eat the food in k.f.c and 3rd is readding a messages!


Valentine Sms

# Valentine Day isn't jus' about hearts cupid red roses & lil heart shaped boxes Its's also 'bout friendship & togetherness & one time of...

# A friend like you is like a precious gem ... hard to find ... difficult to part with & treasured forever .... Happy Valentine's Day ! to a Friend who's...

# What is common b/w good friends & Valentine's? They fill the heart with love & smiles ! Happy Valentine's Day to my friend who brightens up so many...

# Your Friendship is like a Diamond ... true and rare. thanks for being a gem of a friend to me! Happpy Valentine's Day!

# Whenever I talk to , I feel a whole lot happier, you just know how to lift up my spirit ... in a nutshell. I Feel lucky to have a friend like you! Happy Valentine's Day.

# You got a new Messages .... Day & Night & all the moments in B/W .... all I do is think of U ! Happy Valentine's Day

# No shadows to depress u, only joys to surround u, friends to luv u, and God himself to bless u. These r my wishes for today, tomorrow & everyday...

# What the heart gives away is never gone, but kept in the hearts of others, from dusk to dawn. Love you from the core of my heart. Be my Valentine. I love you more today than I did yesterday, But not as much as I will tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!

# I searched through books & leafed through cards,
For words that would convey, what I had in my heart,
But when I sat down to write, all I can write was....I Luv U!
Happy Valentine's Day!

# Tonight I ask the stars above,
How I'll ever win your love,
What do I do,
What do I say,
To turn your angel eyes my way?
so..Happy Valentine's Day !!!

# We've known each other,
For a long long time,
But I never really noticed,
All the magic in your eyes,
I've been around you,
A thousand times before,
And you've always been a friend to me,
But now I'm wanting more....think about it !
Happy Valentine's Day!

# Tears can sometimes be more special than smiles...
For smiles can be given to any one...
But tears are only shed for people we love!
Happy Valentine's Day !

# Love is not how long u've been together,
Not how much u've given or receive,
Not how many times u've helped each other,
It's how u value each other !
Happy Valentine's Day !

# ---;-<@
---;-<@
---;-<@
Roses exclusively from a nice person...
"U"
From a simple person...
"ME"
Keep roses until they dry...
Keep my relation until I die...
Happy Valentine's Day !

# IF A PURFUMED ROSE TOUCHES YOUR FACE,
IF YOUR MOBILE DANCES ON A NICE TONE,
REMEMBER ITS ME TRYING TO SAY YOU
"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY"

# I wan't to kiss ur lips
I wan't to play with ur teeth
I want to teaste ur tongue
Hey ! don't get angry friend
I m toothpaste.........
Happy valentine dear

# Though I may not be yours,
And I may, in my ignorance,
Be speaking to closed doors.
I have no inkling of your heart,
No hint what you might say;
But when I think of you the sun
Will just not go away
There is in you a loveliness
That makes my darkness shine,
And so I'll wait, if wait I must,
To be your Valentine

# T-here's richness in a love for life
H-ere among the valentines,
A-king and queen as man and wife:
N-ot leaning towards what lust inclines;
K-nowing well the needs of state.
Y-on regal grace alone attends,
O-n which the peace, both small and great,
U-ndone by doubt, alone depends.

# Will you be my Valentine?
I know that I am yours.
You are like a ocean,
And I am like your shores.
You are like an endless wave
And I your waiting san
And I will wait forever as
You come & smooth my hand.
I will wait forever, yet
You are a part of me.
I hold you in my arms, while you
Come to me endlessly.
Will you be my Valentine?
I know that I am yours.
I love you with a love that yearns
To be your golden shores.

# T-o my Valentine, with all my love,
O-f whom I cannot say enough in praise,
M-ay my love for you sufficient prove,
Y-earning to redeem your caustic days.
V-ortices within may drag you down.
A-nchor, then, in my serenity.
L-ove saves some who otherwise might drown,
E-mbarked alone upon their Galilee.
N-or should you deem your own love not enough
T-o be the chapel to which I retreat
I-n search of a pavilion for my pain.
N-o love is love unless it be a seat
E-nchanted, where a stone might weep again

# Valentine's Day
Is a wonderful way
To make "I love you"
Easy to say.

# B-e with us in the circle of our love,
E-ven if by chance you are alone.
O-ur greetings we have hope your heart will move,
U-niting our good wishes with your own.
R-emember there are those who think of you,
V-ested in the will to be a friend.
A-s distant hills give depth to what we view,
L-et these words some grace to your day lend.
E-ach life is lived behind a sheltering veil,
N-ot lifted but for love. Yet when we will,
T-here is a wind that shifts the rampart frail,
I-nvading with sweet scent the spirit still.
N-ow may we all enjoy this fragrance fine,
E-ach each other's secret Valentine.

# Be my Valentine: What does that mean?
Each of us must walk through life alone,
More deeply desolate than we have known,
Yearning for a truth we've never seen.
Valentines are from beyond that dream,
Are like a sunrise on a world of stone.
Little on this journey can we own
Except as miracles might intervene.
No way but through loving might we give
The freedom of our being to another.
In such a sacrifice we hope to live
No longer bound by dreams of flesh and bone,
Even as we bind our lives together

# Be my Valentine, my love,
As I will be for you,
And we will love the whole day long,
And love our whole lives through.
For love has no parameters
And does not end with time,
But is the gift of paradise,
A pinch of the sublime.
So let us take this holiday
To resubmit our love
To those within that know no sin
And with the angels move


LAUGH TIME

A man went into a bar in a high rise building. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window & jump out. He flew around for a minute & zipped back into the bar.

As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more.
Finally, the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered $500 to no avail, so he made a final offer of a $1000. The man said that it was all he had on him.

The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrender the pill, & turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, & jumped out only to fall to his death.

The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar &, wiping a glass, said, “You are such a jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”



MEN ALWAYS HAVE BETTER FRIENDS


Men always have better friends………….

They will stand by you, no matter what………..!!!


Here’s an example:

Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband the very
next morning, that she stayed at her(girl) friend’s apartment overnight.


So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends & none of them confirmed that she was with them.


Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very
next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment overnight.


So the wife calls 10 of his best friends & 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night & he is still with them!!

JOKES

WEIRD RESUME CLAIMS

Top 10 Least Impressive Resume Claims

10. Supervised Southern Florida election process, 2000 – 2001.
9. Graduated in top 95% of high school class.
8. Designed & implemented company-wide plastic silverware recycling program.
7. Promoted to assistant groundskeeper after just 8 years.
6. Hobbies / Interests : Puppetry, Star Trek.
5. Published in Penthouse Forum, April 1980, August 1981.
4. Professional affiliations : American Bar Association, Former Inmates of America.
3. Created Herbal Essence “orgasmic” shampoo commercials.
2. Skills include : Reading, ‘riting, ‘rithmetic.
1. Invented the Internet.


It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale were the mail reason for the long line that formed in front of the store 8:30, the store’s opening time.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud & colourful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, & knocked around a bit, & then thrown to the end of the line, “That does it! If they hit me one more time, I’m not opening the store!”




A man had been driving all night & by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, & park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out & saw a jogger running in place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, Sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?” The man looked at the car clock & answered, “8:15”. The jogger said thanks & left. The man settled back again, & was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window & another jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks & left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by & he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen & paper & put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!” Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window

“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”





The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked, “Who never talks to mother?
Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, daddy, you get the toy.”




The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurance at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial.

And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room got really quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand, “Yes,” replied the teacher.

“Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?’

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