Fun Archive

Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

New Sensation

leave me a comment Pictures, Images and Photos

If You like the pictureSubscribe in a reader

Why Witches Not Wear Panties

Do you why witches do not wear panties?

To give them a better grip on their Brooms, That's why they are always laughing they tickling :)

Man Shoots His Wife

Judge: Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?

Man: Your honour, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Teen Auctions Her Virginity For £50k

Alina Percea, 18, from Caracal in Olt county, Romania, is auctioning her virginity online to pay her college tuition.

Alina is offering a weekend of unprotected sex but with just three days to go her highest bid is at 5,000 pounds. She has a long way to go before reaching her target of 50,000 pounds.

She says in a German dating website : “I want to meet a gentle, respectful and generous man. I have a gynaecologist’s certificate proving I’m a virgin."

The winning bidder has a health certificate showing that he is free of disease. Through this auction, Alina hopes that she will meet her husband.

“I want the first time I have sex to be special so I wouldn’t want it to be a quickie. The man who proves the most generous can stay with me for a full weekend but he has to pay for everything if we travel and stay in a hotel,” The Sun quoted her, as saying.

Policeman Ordered to Drink His Own Urine

Airport security staff ordered a retired policeman to drink his own urine sample to prove it was safe.

Yu Fahai, 58, was going through security at Pudong International Airport in Shanghai, when he was challenged over a bottle of liquid in his pocket.

Yu, who received a kidney transplant several years ago, has to regularly test his urine for infection, reports News Morning.

"The checker asked me what was inside, and I told her it was my urine. She said: "Urine? Drink some to prove it"," said Yu at his home in Chibi, Hubei province.

Yu, who was taking his first ever flight after attending a TV awards ceremony in Shanghai, has now lodged a complaint against the airport.

An airport spokesman said the security guard mistakenly heard the word 'urine' as 'beverage', and claimed Yu had his boarding card in his mouth, making his pronunciation unclear.

The spokesman added that national regulations forbid passengers from taking liquids on flights but an exception was made for Mr Yu because of his medical history. He also apologised.

Wife Meaning

Husband asks, “Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!”

Wife says, “No, it means...With Idiot For Ever”

Question & Answer

Question: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?

Answer: You can do nothing. If devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

Why divorce?

- In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my love life."

- "But why ?" asked the judge.

- She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."

- The judge asked, "How do you know ?"

- She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, Farhana said to AKKEL, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Why?

Bekkel said, " Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why Dad ? Tell me why!"

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

50th Anniversary

This couple has been married happily for 50 years. On the 50th anniversary, the wife decide to give the husband a special gift. so, she tell him, as the gift I will give you a chance to ask me anything, I'll give you the true answer.

This was a great chance for the husband as he had a question in his mind for a long time, but could not ask out of politeness. the husband ask, see, out of our 7 children, john is completely different. so, i was always suspicious that he has a different father. that is the reason I could never love him and was harsh to him all the time. is it true, does he have a different father?

The wife paused for a minute, but to keep her promise, she said: yes.

The husband was shocked. still, to know the truth, he asked: who is his father.

This time, there was even a longer pause. finally she answered: YOU.

Bekkel with his Father

On a romantic day Omi' s girlfriend asks him.

"Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring"

Omi : Ya sure, from landphone or mobile?

A+

In an English class, the teacher asked students to write the shortest essay possible with three elements in it : - sex, religion and mystery.

So one of the female student wrote this in her essay and got A+!

"Oh god, I'm pregnant, but who is the father?"

60 Years Old Proves Her Virginity

A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60.

Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown.

She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night."

She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours.

She added: "There has been some nasty gossip about me. The men my neighbours are talking about are relatives who are helping me do some work on my house.

"To make such accusations about a woman of my age is disgusting. I hope now they will all shut up. To claim I am a loose woman of any kind is outrageous."

Pregnant "Man" Gives Birth

Thomas Beatie, was born as a woman, but is legally a man.

Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman but after surgery and hormone treatment lives as a man, has given birth to a girl at an Oregon hospital, according to press reports.Beatie, who is legally male but decided to keep his female sex organs during chest reconstruction surgery and testosterone therapy, attracted worldwide attention in April after revealing his pregnancy.The 34-year-old gave birth to a baby girl at a hospital in Bend, Oregon, on June 29, People Magazine reported.

"The only thing different about me is that I can't breastfeed my baby. But a lot of mothers don't," the magazine quoted him as saying.It said the girl is Beatie's first child, and he had given birth naturally, not by Caesarean section.Beatie, who sports a beard, was dubbed the 'pregnant man' after appearing on Oprah Winfrey's television talk-show to discuss his pregnancy."I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child," he told the chat show queen.

Beatie's unusual situation first became public when he wrote an article in the leading US gay magazine The Advocate in March, entitled "Labor of Love.""To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don't appear in the least unusual," he wrote, explaining that his wife was unable to have a child after undergoing a hysterectomy.So he chose to become pregnant by artificial insemination, he said."Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns," Beatie wrote, adding the couple had experienced opposition from health care professionals, friends and family.

Sex Drunker Arrested on Dubai Beach

Dubai beach

A British lady was arrested in Dubai and faces up to six years in jail for having drunken sex on the beach and calling a police officer a "f***ing Muslim", press reports said Wednesday. Michelle Palmer, 30, was having sex with a British tourist, identified only as Vince, on Dubai's trendy Jumeirah beach when a police officer spotted the pair, British tabloid The Sun revealed. The police officer initially let the pair off with a warning, but returned minutes later to find they had ignored him. When he tried to stop them, Palmer allegedly hit him with her shoe, while shouting you "f***ing Muslim ****", the paper said.

Palmer, who works for ITP Publishing, was charged with having sex outside of marriage, indecent behavior in public, being drunk in public and assaulting an officer. She faces three months to six years in jail and will most likely be deported.Palmer and Vince, who faces the same fate, quickly got married while out on bail in a desperate attempt to get a reduced sentence, the UAE's Gulf News said.

Palmer was said to be mortified and full of remorse and was begging the authorities to show mercy as she feared they may try to make an example out of her, according to The Sun.

“We are in so much trouble and my family and everybody are affected. Until someone is in this situation they could never know what it’s like. It’s bad – it’s so, so bad," the paper quoted Palmer as saying. The UAE is a Muslim country. Although it is hailed as a harmonious mix of people from across the globe, some Emiratis -- who make up 19% of the population -- say their culture and traditions are not respected by foreigners.

In an effort to raise awareness about local customs and values, the government has published "Awareness Booklets" and placed them in all UAE airports, Gulf News said.

Sex Hunger

Female chimpanzees are hungry for sex with as many males as possible, and keep their mouths shut about it to boost their chances of luring the top chimps, a Scottish university has found.

Scientists at St Andrews university studied the copulation calls -- sounds they make during mating -- of female chimpanzees in Uganda to find out more about what they mean.The Scottish institution's team concluded that female chimps sometimes keep quiet during sex so their female rivals do not find out what they have been up to.

Evolutionary psychologists Simon Townsend and Klaus Zuberbuhler studied chimp behavior in Uganda's Budongo Forest over 16 months.The team established that female chimpanzees hid their sexual activity when high-ranking females were nearby, perhaps in a bid to reduce competition for good-quality males.

This could prevent higher-ranking female chimpanzees from turning on them.They also found the females produced more copulation calls when high-ranking males were around to attract them to have sex.The scientists believe that having sex with several males causes confusion among the male chimpanzees as to which one sired the offspring.The males are therefore less likely to kill any babies that might be theirs.

The study found no evidence that males were competing to have sex with females after they produced copulation calls, and no link between a female's fertility and her use of the calls."Chimpanzee females adjusted their calling behavior in flexible ways, potentially to avoid aggression from other females and possibly to secure future benefits from the socially important males," the study said.

The research indicated that the social pressures deriving from resource competition acted as an important selective force, shaping the copulation calling behavior in wild chimps."Competition between females can be dangerously high in wild chimpanzees," said Townsend, part of the team."Our findings highlight the fact that these females use their copulation calls in highly tactical ways to minimize the risks associated with such competition."

The female chimps we observed in the wild seemed to be much more concerned with having sex with as many different males as possible, without other females finding out about it, than causing male chimps to fight over them."We also found that the calling behavior of copulating females was unrelated to their fertile period and therefore not linked to the likelihood of conception."

Zuberbuehler added: "Copulation calling may be one potential strategy employed by female chimpanzees to advertise receptivity to high-ranked males, confuse paternity and secure future support from these socially important individuals."